Instead of Prospecting, Start Dating

Want your sales to skyrocket? Instead of prospecting, start dating.

Dating culture is far more complex than selling, yet they share many of the same tactics.

Like dating, good prospecting is cautious, makes the person you’re reaching out to feel that you are genuinely interested in them, and isn’t based on generalized assumptions.

For instance, you don’t go into a bar, walk up to someone, and ask them to marry you.

Yet, that’s what salespeople do every day—using templated messages and pitches that tout excellent benefits and solutions to problems and concerns without first understanding the prospect or any of their needs or goals.

Whether it’s prospecting or dating, both situations have variations of the same three objectives:

• Meet a stranger – You need to get the conversation started.
• Identify interests in common – You need something to talk about.
• Establish the rationale for seeing them again – What value do you bring to the relationship’s future?

Good prospecting prevents you from jumping into a pitch and dropping your calendar link in the email. It demands that you act like a human, encouraging you to do something the prospect can’t predict.

However, breaking the ice can be intimidating to even the most seasoned professionals. It is reminiscent of a junior high school dance. You remember the scenario. The girls stood on one side of the room and the boys on the other, both groups talking among themselves, all realizing that one thing was inevitable. You’ll need to get up the courage to walk across the room and ask someone to dance.

Meet a stranger:

If you’re going solo, the power of observation is critical. If you want to meet a targeted decision-maker, you’ve got to do your homework. Learn about the person, their company, and even their career. Approaching someone you don’t know with a sincere compliment or offering an insightful perspective about something they posted online can display a genuine interest in the person and their goals and serve as a great ice breaker.

If you want to stand out and truly differentiate yourself, offer to introduce them to someone helpful in your network. Showing a spirit of giving is one of the best ways to establish yourself as a partner and collaborator interested in the prospect’s overall success, not just the sale.

Also, whatever you do, don’t forget about your professional network. They are your wing people.

They are the other people in the room that can walk you over to someone and introduce you. Or you may have a friend in common who may not be present but can be brought up as a conversation starter.

Having mutual connections can build a certain level of immediate trust. Showing you are in the same circles and have shared experiences and knowledge opens many doors.

Any of these methods can help you build rapport and start the conversation while generating enough interest for you to begin asking questions to learn more about them.

Identify interests in common:

You want to gather information at a deeper level. Take your time, don’t make the conversation an interrogation. Be forthcoming. Volunteering information is a great way to soften your inquiry.

Saying something like, “I got started in the industry many years because of its massive growth potential; what got you interested in it?”

Remember that you’re not going to ask questions that elicit one-word answers like “yes” or “no”, so you don’t want to give one-word answers either. If you’re in a dating situation and the person opposite you replies “no” to every question you ask about their interests, the logical conclusion is that they want you to go away.

In prospecting situations, the other person might not be a strong conversationalist. If you are asked a closed-ended question like, “Do you play golf?” Consider answering something like this:

“No, I don’t play golf much, but I love tennis.”

This lets the other person know you want to keep the conversation going.

Establish the rationale for seeing them again:

Circle back before the end of the conversation. Express that you enjoyed meeting them and the conversation. A simple statement like, “We could easily continue this conversation,” and recap a few points that show you were listening.

Then put the ball in their court: “I want to continue our discussion soon. How would you want to set that up?” They will provide contact information or suggest sending an invite via LinkedIn if they are interested. You can share your contact information as well.

Your strategy is to develop social relationships with your prospects. Some might become clients. Others might send referrals. Some will do neither but may make great connections. Cultivating your options follows many of the same rules as dating.

Buyers today know that most sales pitches come from a templated AI-based, automated sales cadence that lacks empathy, and they are numb to it.

Personalization isn’t about just using someone’s name. It’s about customizing your message and its content to be most relevant to them. Being authentic and personable is the differentiator,

If we fundamentally change how we sell, AI will take a long time to catch up to that. In that sense, good prospecting means thinking about how we can improve things at a human level.

Chad is an award-winning senior sales leader, public speaker, and author with 25 years of experience managing client accounts in the digital technology, SaaS, automotive, advertising, and telecommunications industries. He has served in large multi-national public companies and smaller privately held organizations, modeling, building, and scaling high-performance sales teams throughout the U.S.

In 2022, Chad founded Best Life Ventures, LLC, utilizing his career experience to advise, train, develop, coach, and mentor sales leaders and their teams through fractional leadership and consulting. He also provides one-on-one coaching for sales leaders.

Contact Information

email: chadjohnson856@gmail.com

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/Chad-Johnson

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